Q: What did zero say to eight?
A: Nice belt!!
Q: What do you call a mathematician's bird that won't eat?
A: A poly "no meal"
Q: How does one insult a mathematician?
A: You say: "Your brain is smaller than any ε > 0"
Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!
Life is complex: it has both real and imaginary components.
Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children?
A: 'If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times...'
Theorem: Every positive integer is interesting.
Proof: By contradiction, assume that there exists an uninteresting positive integer. Then there must be a smallest uninteresting positive integer. But that's pretty interesting! Therefore a contradiction!
Q: What is purple and commutative?
A: An abelian grape...
Let epsilon be less than zero...
In some alley, a function meets up with a differential operator:
"Get out of my way - or I'll differentiate you till you're zero!"
"Try it - I'm ex..."
"Too bad... I'm d/dy."