CREATE YOUR OWN PATH: CAREER PROMOTION TIPS

Volunteering is another way to promote your career and demonstrate your value while expanding your knowledge in critical areas of your company.

Volunteering also provides a great way to earn a reputation for being reliable, professional, and cooperative, worthy of promotion.

Keep in mind that while you are volunteering, you may discover a need that you have the skills and experience to resolve. A great advantage in this situation is that by being involved, you know the right person to contact; it may be the person you are working with in your volunteer position.

The more you know about yourself, the more you will communicate about your value to the right people at the right time to promote your career. Record everything that you do to enhance the company's bottom line.

Start today by dividing a blank sheet of paper into three columns with three separate headings: action, result of action, and impact of action.

Your key accomplishments are probably actions that you take for granted. For example, if you are responsible for accounts payable, in column one write ‘paying invoices', in column two write the result of this action, for example, paid in time - no interest payments, and in the third column write the impact of this action, for example, a decrease in the cost of production. Did you think of this action as related to decreasing cost, or did you think of it as doing part of your job? How do you think others view this action?

Scheduled performance development planning meetings provide the perfect opportunity to showcase your accomplishments for career promotion. By being proactive and creating opportunities, you improve the likelihood that you will gain the attention of your employer and the career promotion that you deserve.

Yet another successful technique is to single out an unresolved challenge that exists in your company. Try to pick a situation that will benefit from your combination of experience and skills. Write a memo that outlines the need you've discovered. Highlight how you will use your skills to resolve the problem and contribute to the immediate objectives of the team or department involved. Send your memo to the person who will benefit most from your unique approach, for example, your boss or a human resources representative.

Don't wait for your organization to discover the same need. By waiting, you take the chance that they may decide to post the position.

Without your proactive approach to your career and potential promotion, they may decide to promote one of your peers. By being proactive, you create a win-win situation. You may gain a challenging, enjoyable career opportunity and eliminate the need for a competition.

Even if a new career or promotion opportunity does not result from your actions, you have successfully created an opportunity to demonstrate your value to the organization. You have increased the likelihood that they will consider you for the next rewarding career or promotion opportunity.

A moment of science

ats send all sorts of nonverbal signals, both to each other and to us humans. One of those signals is a blink.

If you own a cat and haven't ever noticed it blinking at you, keep an eye out. It usually happens just as the cat enters a room where you are sitting. It will notice you from a small distance, stop, blink both eyes once or several times, and then approach. Once you are on the lookout for it, the blink is quite noticeable. It's slower than a human blink and looks, well, intentional.

What is your cat trying to tell you? A blinking cat is a happy cat. Blinking in cats is a signal that they recognize the presence of another cat in their vicinity but they are not going to fight it. A blink sends the message: "You are my friend. I am not angry. I am not threatened, or threatening."

This kind of message is very important in the wild, where cats battle for territory. Run across a neighboring cat and you'd better make your intentions clear, or you may find yourself in a fight. The blink serves to say: all's well here.

If you don't feel silly doing it, try blinking at your cat, perhaps while stroking it. Sometimes our facial gestures can trigger a response in them. The two of you can have a mutual friendship moment, sending "I'm okay -- you're okay" messages back and forth.

So, why do cats blink at us, when we aren't cats and don't understand such feline messages? Well -- do you ever speak to your cat?

Wisdom of age-3

An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.

After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president’s office.

The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied,"$165,000". The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets.

The president was surprised and asked, "What kind of bets?"

The elderly woman replied, "Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square."

The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.

The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, "Would you like to take my bet?"

"Certainly", replied the president. "I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square."

"Done", the elderly woman answered. "But given the amount of money involved, if you don’t mind I would like to come back at 10 o’clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness."

"No problem", said the president of the Bank confidently.

That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.

The next morning at exactly 10 o’clock the elderly woman arrived at the president’s office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president’s testicles were square.

The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.

The president was happy to oblige.

The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. "Of course", said the president. "Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure."

The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that.

And she replied, "Oh, it’s probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10! o’clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Canada!

Moral of this story….

Don’t mess with old farts…

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Brilliance only comes with age and experience.

The Weirdest Mothers in the Animal Kindom

Mother Dog and Ducks

Mother Hen and Cats

Mother Cat and Chickens

Mother Cat and Rodent

Mother Cat and skunks

Mother Rat and Cat

Mother Lion and Sheep

Mother Tiger and Pigs

Mother Monkey and Cat

Bad Martial Arts!

Bad Martial Arts was created to promote critical thinking and rational thought in the martial arts. Few subjects are so poorly understood and as widely misrepresented in the mass media, with the line between reality and nonsense heavily blurred. This site isn't designed to teach martial arts per se, but to provide the prospective student, practicing student, or curious person a foundation whereby critical thinking can be used for self-defense, training, and fitness. Most martial arts teach some form of self-defense, so the ability to distinguish real, effective techniques vs. nonsense is critical.

The "Bad" in Bad Martial Arts extends from the tradition of Phil Plait's Bad Astronomy and Ben Goldacre's Bad Science web sites. These excellent web sites examine the good and bad of astronomy and science, and help shed light on myths, misconeptions and pseudoscience. Because the martial arts are so steeped in tradition and history, few martial artists stop to consider the underlying reasons for doing what the art teaches. Most of the time, it's for a good reason, but how would the martial artist know without some way to validate it?

The answer is critical thinking.

Alicante Place where you should visit

Alicante, in Spain is an elegant city with a reputation for being an excellent holiday destination on the Costa Blanca because of its beautiful beaches, wonderful climate and lively atmosphere.
The city 'most emblematic construction is the 9th century, the castle of Santa Barbara, located on Mount Benacantil, offering impressive views of the city. Alicante also discover its origins in the Provincial Archaeological Museum, which was awarded the European Museum of the Year Award 2004 for the originality and la''approche displays his intelligent''. Among other attractions, admire its underwater Roman ship and all its treasures.


If you plan to visit Spain for business or vacation, rent a car and enjoy the flexibility and freedom of your own vehicle. Auto Europe offers from the airport car rentals in all the major places to pick up a large fleet of rental car, so finding a rental car at Alicante airport is both simple and economical

Car Hire Day Trips in Alicante

* The old village of Altea
* Cuevas del Canelobre
* Torrevieja

Alicante Airport Driving Distances

* Alicante Town Centre: 13 kms/8 miles
* Benidorm: 64 kms/40 miles
* Denia: 110 kms/68 miles
* Murcia: 90 kms/47 miles

Humour 'comes from testosterone'

Genetics may underlie humour

Men are naturally more comedic than women because of the male hormone testosterone, an expert claims.

Men make more gags than women and their jokes tend to be more aggressive, Professor Sam Shuster, of Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital, says.

The unicycling doctor observed how the genders reacted to his "amusing" hobby.

Women tended to make encouraging, praising comments, while men jeered. The most aggressive were young men, he told the British Medical Journal.

Previous findings have suggested women and men differ in how they use and appreciate humour.

Women tend to tell fewer jokes than men and male comedians outnumber female ones.

Aggressively funny

Research suggests men are more likely to use humour aggressively by making others the butt of the joke.

And aggression - generally considered to be a more masculine trait - has been linked by some to testosterone exposure in the womb.

Professor Shuster believes humour develops from aggression caused by male hormones.

He documented the reaction of over 400 individuals to his unicycling antics through the streets of Newcastle upon Tyne.

Almost half of people responded verbally - more being men. Very few of the women made comic or snide remarks, while 75% of the men attempted comedy - mostly shouting out "Lost your wheel?", for example.

Mocking and sneering

Often the men's comments were mocking and intended as a put-down. Young men in cars were particularly aggressive - they lowered their windows and shouted abusively.

This type of behaviour decreased among older men however, who tended to offer more admiring comments, much like the women.

"The idea that unicycling is intrinsically funny does not explain the findings," said Professor Shuster.

The simplest explanation, he says, is the effect of male hormones such as testosterone.

And initial aggressive intent seems to become channelled into a more subtle and sophisticated joke, so the aggression is hidden by wit, claims Professor Shuster.

Dr Nick Neave is a psychologist at the University of Northumbria who has been studying the physical, behavioural, and psychological effects of testosterone.

He suggested men might respond aggressively because they see the other unicycling man as a threat, attracting female attention away from themselves.

"This would be particularly challenging for young males entering the breeding market and thus it does not surprise me that their responses were the more threatening."

Strange But True

Radiant Rodents

We've seen all sorts of glow-in-the-dark stuff through the years—key chains, golf balls, jewelry, and even phosphorescent Frisbees.

But now we've seen it all:
Glow-in-the-dark mice!

Scientists in Japan developed the mini-mutants recently, injecting DNA from a species of jellyfish that glows underwater. The result: some really radiant rodents! They glow bright green under ultraviolet lights.

Whoa, that's cool! you say.
But WHY??

For research, of course. Scientists can use the technique in a number of ways, including watching the movements of stuff inside the mini-mammals. For instance, for cancer research, they can watch white blood cells moving around without having to cut the critters open.

That's what I call a bright idea!

Scientists say they can use the technique on other lab animals too—like rats, monkeys and rabbits.

But I'm thinkin', Why stop there? Just imagine the possibilities. You could open an entire zoo with all kinds of luminescent life. Beaming buffaloes!
Florescent flounders!
Shining sheep!
Iridescent iguanas!
Radiant rhinos!

I could go on, of course,
but you get the point.
You've, uh, seen the light.

Mixed Messages

Check out these signs found in Great Britain:

• In a safari park: "Elephants Please Stay in Your Car."
• On a pamphlet: "If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons."
• At a repair shop: "We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door—the bell doesn't work.)"
• In a health food store window: "Closed due to illness."
• At a dry cleaner's: "Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of."
• In a department store: "Bargain Basement Upstairs"

Postcards from Beyond the Edge

OK, OK, so peanuts are No. 1 in Georgia. But a 20-footer? The folks of Turner County, home of this mega-nut, say it's "a daily reminder where our roots come from." Can you dig it?

The Chicken That Wouldn't Shut Up!

Kay Martin was talking to a friend at home one day when they suddenly heard a chicken squawking. They went outside to find the boisterous bird, but couldn't find anything. When they returned to the house, they realized the squawking was coming from Kay's kitchen—from her oven!

A half hour earlier, Kay had put a chicken—a dead one, that is!— into the oven to roast. Steam built up inside and came up the neck and through the vocal cords, raising a ruckus!

"It was as if it was shrieking at me from its grave," says Kay. "It was so bizarre I just froze."

But not for long. She opened the oven and removed the bird, which was still squawking loudly. As it cooled, the squawking died away.

Kay threw the bird away, and hasn't cooked chicken since then.

Good thing she wasn't cooking beef, eh? That would've been a moo-ving experience!

Drug Dealers Vs. Geeks

Drug Dealers	Software Developers
Refer to their clients as "users"	Refer to their clients as "users"
"The first one's free!"	"Download a free trial version..."
Have important Asian connections.	Have important Asian connections.
Strange jargon: "Stick" "Rock" "Wrap" "E" "Stash" "Drive-by" "Hit (LSD)" "Source" "The Pigs"	Strange jargon: "SCSI" "RTFM" "Packet" "C" "Cache" "CTRL ALT DEL" "Hit (WWW)" "Source-code" "Microsoft"
Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market	Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market
Clients really like your stuff when it works. When it doesn't work they want to kill you.	Clients really like your stuff when it works. When it doesn't work they want to kill you.
Job is assisted by the industry's producing newer, more potent product.	Job is assisted by the industry's producing newer, more potent products.
Often seen in the company of pimps, hustlers and low-lifes.	Often seen in the company of marketing people, venture capitalists and fund managers.
When things go wrong, a "fix" is just a phone call away, but may be expensive.	When things go wrong, a "fix" is just a phone call away, but may be expensive.
A lot of people are getting rich while still teenagers.	A lot of people are getting rich while still teenagers.
Product causes unhealthy addictions	DOOM, Quake, SimCity, Duke Nukem 3D...
Do your job well and you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on you.	Damn! DAMN!!!

21 Ways to Have Fun … Absolutely FREE!

1. Always wanted to visit Israel? Have a passion for Paris? Go to the local library and plan a dream vacation using the maps, cultural books, and travel planners to investigate your destination.

2. Write notecards thanking your neighbors for being "neighborly." Stick them in their doors, ring the doorbells, and watch their responses of surprise from behind a bush.

3. If you have snow in your part of the country, make sure you take advantage of the mud it makes when it melts. If you don't have snow, make some mud. In either case, get on some grubby clothes, grab some buds, and have a messy game of full-contact Ultimate Frisbee!

4. Take your family to watch Little League baseball at the park. Ask your parents if they have sports stories from when they were kids. You may be surprised!

5. Most libraries have movies you can check out for free. Try some of the old black-and-white ones with Jimmy Stewart, Humphrey Bogart or Ingrid Bergman.

6. Explore the outdoors at a different time than you normally would. Take a walk through downtown when all the shops are just opening. Check into a professionally-led night hike, the kind where you use flashlights. It's amazing how different your perspective can be!

7. Browse a used bookstore and reminisce about your favorite children's books. Maybe the store even has a read-aloud-to-kids time you could attend!

8. Organize an all-day (or night!) tournament of board games at your church. Invite people of all ages to join in on Scrabble, Sequence, Monopoly, Clue!, Risk, Chess, Checkers, Backgammon, or other favorites. You'll be amazed at how games can start conversations between different age groups!

9. Gather all the unmatched socks in your house and make puppets! See how many of your friends you can turn into a sock character.

10. Ask your parents if you and a few friends can have free reign in the kitchen for an evening. Create your own gourmet coffee/tea/hot chocolate drinks by experimenting with various spices, syrups, juices, powders, etc. Make a menu of the best concoctions (and a fun list of your worst!) and treat your parents (by cleaning up the kitchen, too).

11. Throw together some creative costumes on a holiday off of school (like President's Day) and go "canning." Go door-to-door in your neighborhood, just like at Halloween, but instead of asking for candy, ask for canned goods to be donated to a local food bank. No one will expect it, but everyone will love it.

12. Have a group of friends write "What If?" or "Would You Rather?" questions on slips of paper and put them in a bowl (for example, "What if you could only eat one food for the rest of your life?" "Would you rather not use soap or not use a hairbrush for the next 10 years?") Take turns pulling them out and answering them. You'll find out more about each other, and it's guaranteed to make you laugh.

13. Try to make a house of cards.

14. Check out a book on paper airplanes, grab some paper, and challenge your friends to some contests: coolest plane, longest-flying, even biggest dud!

15. Gather the family for an evening of reminiscing. Pop some popcorn, pull out the old photo albums, and laugh at pictures from your younger years.

16. How well do you know your hometown? Divide your friends into two groups, each group making a list of little-known sites to capture on video (the view from the tallest building) or items to bring back in person (a napkin from a local diner). Exchange lists, borrow a video camera for each group (make sure to ask parents!), and have a fun night rediscovering your town.

17. Learn more about your parents' hobbies. Does your mom sew? Ask her to help you make a pillowcase. Does your dad garden? Help him plant the spring seeds and chat about what it takes for them to grow well.

18. Attend a speech or independent movie showing at a local community college or university on a topic you're interested in. Yes, learning can be fun!

19. Make a mural for your wall/door/notebook/locker out of empty cereal boxes, magazine clippings, favorite quotes and Bible verses.

20. Try reading the Sunday comics backward—starting from the last frame and working to the first—to your family and see if they can guess the characters speaking.

21. Make up a list of creative things you can do for absolutely free!

Saddam's Extreme Makeover

Practical Jokes

Don and the Mysterious Locked Suitcase

One time at church camp I had a roommate named Don who was very private and security-conscious. He always locked his suitcase and kept the key on a chain around his neck. Of course, this caused my fellow roommates and I to be even more determined to get in his suitcase.

Late one afternoon before dinner, he went to take a shower. We tried jimmying the lock to no avail. We eventually came up with the idea of taking the key chain from the hook in the little drying-off area outside the individual showers.

We raced back to the room with the key and unlocked the suitcase. We didn’t mess up anything or take anything, except to take out his camera. Stripped down to our underwear, we took pictures of each other with his camera, put the camera back in the suitcase, locked it up, the returned the key chain back to the hook. In Don’s thinking, nothing ever happened.

That fall we had a reunion, and Don thanked us for the extra pictures.

Punk-Rocker Surprise

My brother Dan went to the University of Michigan, just about an hour from my parent’s home. I was five hours away at Miami University in Ohio. I arranged to pick up Dan and surprise our parents. I also brought along some props to make it an even bigger surprise.

We got home and came into the house. I put on a multicolored punk-rock wig and some gold wraparound glasses. We came into the house, and Dan called out, “Hi, Mom, I’m home.”

My mom called out that she was back in her bedroom. Dan went back there, and I was a bit behind in the hallway. Dan said, “Hi, Mom, I just wanted to surprise you for the weekend.”

My mom said, “Oh, Dan, it’s so great to see you.”

“I brought a friend with me from my fraternity,” he said as I came in the room. “Mom, this is John.”

“Hi, John, it’s nice to meet you.”

It was then that I pulled off the sunglasses and wig to her total surprise. We all got a good laugh.

Funny One Liners & Quotes

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn’t.

2.. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3.. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.

4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5.. Don’t take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6.. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9.. I’m not a complete idiot — Some parts are just missing.

10..Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

12..God must love stupid people; He made so many.

13..The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

14..Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

15..Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16..Being “over the hill” is much better than being under it!

17..Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

18..Procrastinate Now!

19..I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

20..A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

Mental Math and slowing down aging

I can’t prove this but I bet that doing lots of mental Math can help slow down aging. In studying a number of techniques for doing fast arithmetic I notice a number of mental skills at play:

1. Pattern recognition. Many tricks involve recognizing and exploiting a pattern.
2. Visualization of processes. Multiplying large numbers together requires you to hold a mental image of multiple steps.
3. Alertness. Falling asleep will cut way down on your efficiency in every technique!
4. Mental speed. Impressing your friends will require you to develop speed in your technique.
5. Memory. Efficient arithmeticians memorize more Math facts than others. Some people, for example, find memorizing the squares of all numbers up to 25 to be helpful in certain techniques. Also, you often need to maintain a running total in your head and keep track of carries..
6. Concentration. When multiple steps need to happen in a sequence your powers of concentration will improve.

A friend and I were discussing how mental Math could help maintain the plasticity of the brain, its ability to reorganize itself in response to new information. She thinks that doing a number of cross-multiplications every day can keep the brain active as we age. I agree.

hack yourself

You can be happy. You can live the life you want to live. You can become the person you want to be.

This is what I've figured out so far.

Stop assigning blame. This is the first step. Stop assigning blame and leave the past behind you.

You know whose fault it is that your life isn't perfect. Your boss. Your teachers. Your ex-lovers. The ones who hurt you, the ones who abused you, the ones who left you bleeding. Or even yourself. You know whose fault it is — you've been telling yourself your whole life. Knowing whose fault it is that your life sucks is an excellent way to absolve yourself of any responsibility for taking your life into your own hands.

Forget about it. Let it go. The past isn't real. “That was in another country, and besides, the wench is dead.” If we're not talking about something that is real and present and in your life right now, then it doesn't matter. Nothing can be done about it. If nothing can be done about it, then don't spend your energy dwelling on it — you have other things to do.

I may sound cruel, I may sound simplistic, I may sound like I'm saying you should just “get over it,” by suggesting that you should let go of your past. I'm sorry for that. But life won't hold still and wait for you to lick your wounds. The race is still being run. Get up and keep moving. You can't do anything about yesterday.

You can do something about tomorrow. And about the next day. Focus your energies there.

“I don't have time to write.” “I can't dance.” “I can't talk to new people.” “I'm not attractive.”

I hear this all the time. I always hear the people around me sabotaging themselves, drawing lines and borders and boxes around themselves.

To which I say, make the time; dance; just talk to people; be attractive!

Yes, again, it's simplistic of me to say that. But it's simplistic of you to so easily say what you cannot do!

We're excellent pattern-matchers. That's what the human mind does — it's a pattern-matching engine. So we look at ourselves, at our history, at our behaviors, and we draw straight lines between the points — we assume that just because we've done things a certain way in the past, we'll always do them that way in the future. If we've failed before, we'll always fail.

Screw that.

Surprise yourself. No — amaze yourself.

You don't have to keep doing the things you hate. Why go home and beat yourself up for, say, not going over and saying a few words to someone you find really attractive? Can any damage they could do to you by rejecting you possibly be any worse than the damage you're going to do to yourself for missing the chance?

Find the demon.

Do you know what I'm talking about? It's the little voice in the back of your head that's always whispering, “You can't.” You know the demon. You may think you hate the demon, but you don't. You love it. You let it own you. You do everything it says. Every time there's something you want, you consult the demon first, to see if it will say, “You can't have that.”

What you don't realize is that your demon doesn't know anything. It's an idiot. It's nothing but a parrot, repeating back to you anything negative that it's ever heard, anything that makes you hurt, makes you squirm. If a teacher once told you “You'll never accomplish anything,” it was listening; it hoards words like that and repeats them back to you to watch you jump. It doesn't know what it's saying. It doesn't care.

Exorcise yourself.

You can take me literally or not, as suits you. But do, please, the next time you hear that voice in your head, imagine it, visualize it, as something physical that you can get hold of; tear it out of you, feel its fingers weaken and lose their grip on your spine, and grind it to dust, to nothing, under your boot heel on your way out to dance in the streets.

You can. You think you can't; but it's telling you that. You can.

You don't exist.

You just think you do.

We're nothing but the stories we tell ourselves. We know in our hearts what kind of people we are, what we're capable of, because we've told ourselves what kind of people we are. You're a carefully-rehearsed list of weaknesses and strengths you've told yourself you have.

(Self-confidence, for example, is a particularly nebulous quality you can easily talk yourself out of having.)

You owe no allegiance to that self-image if it harms you. If you don't like the story your life has become — tell yourself a better one.

Think about the person you want to be and do what that person would do. Act the way that person would act.

Amazingly enough, once you start acting like that person, people will start treating you like that person.

And you'll start to believe it. And then it will be true.

Welcome to your new self.

You are a product of your environment.

Most people realize this — usually, in the form of having something else to blame — but they tend to forget one important fact:

Humans are the masters of changing their environment.

What this means is that if your environment affects you, and you can affect your environment, then obviously, you can affect yourself.

* Your environment includes people. Figure out who in your life isn't good for you, whose presence tears you down more than it builds you up, whose nearness is poison to you — and get rid of them. Get them out of your life. I don't care if it's your best friend, your boss, your mother, your lover — if they are harming you, if they are doing nothing but reinforce everything bad you tell yourself about yourself, then your relationship with them needs to radically alter or it needs to end.

* Your environment includes goals. Don't set yourself pie-in-the-sky impossible goals and then beat yourself up over not achieving them — set yourself goals that will be good for you, not a source of pain. Attainable goals. Set them and meet them. Don't tell yourself you can't — that's the old story, that story you used to tell yourself about what a poor sad victim you were and how you could never change anything about your life. You can meet your goals. This is the new story.

Trying to clean your house? Good for you — a clean house can really affect your state of mind for the better. But don't say “Today I'm going to clean the entire house from top to bottom,” when you don't have the time and energy to — don't set yourself up for failure; don't feed the demon. Just say, “Today I'm going to wash all the dishes and clean off the kitchen counter.” And do it.

Don't tell yourself, “This month I'm going to write that novel.” Tell yourself, “Today I'm going to write five pages.” And do it. Take your dreams and break them down into small pieces and you'll have them in your hands before you know it.

And you'll find, as you start meeting your goals, that you like it. That it feels good, makes you feel confident and capable. You'll develop a hunger for it.

* Your environment includes yourself — your physical presence. Do what you know you need to do — treat yourself better. Sleep, eat right, exercise. This doesn't mean you have to stop staying out late at night now and then, it doesn't mean you can't have a candy bar, it doesn't mean you have to stop sitting around watching television — it just means start doing the things that are good for you as well as the things that are bad for you, every so often. It's not an all-or-nothing proposition; you don't have to devote your life to being a health nut. Just try eating more fruits and vegetables, the occasional vegetarian meal; go for walks in the park on the weekends. You'll feel better and be more alert if you're a little healthier, and once you start feeling a little better, you'll start wanting the things that make you feel better. You'll see.

* Your environment includes your appearance. If you're not happy with yourself, if you're angry with the person in the mirror, it can honestly help to literally change who you see when you look in the mirror. Try a different hairstyle, new glasses, new jewelry, new clothes. It doesn't have to be expensive — there's a whole universe full of possible You's waiting to be found in thrift stores, if need be. If you're deciding to become the person you want to be, then decide what that person is going to look like. Dress the part. It's not shallow, it's not about vanity, it's about self-transformation — even the most primitive tribes understand the value of costumes and masks for ritual, for change, for becoming someone else.

You are not an object. You are a system. Like with any system, if you change the inputs — change what goes into it — you'll change what comes out.

Despite everything I've just said:

Self-examination can be paralysis.

Don't “remember to breathe” — just breathe. It's a Tao thing.

It's the paradox at the center of all this — remember that, “Am I living up to being the person I want to be?”, is not a question the person you want to be would ask.

If I can leave you with just one thought, it's this:

Stop wasting your time fretting over not being happy.

Just be happy.

Unimaginable Photos

UN Survey

Worldwide survey was conducted by the United Nations.
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure,

In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant,
In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant,
In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant,
In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant,
In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant,
In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant,
And in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant!!!

Engineer Boyfriend

Secure lifestyle

An engineer boyfriend can provide you with a secure lifestyle. At 27 years old, an engineer probably has a respectable, stable job
that gives him high income to own a car, invest, have a comfortable life, and get married and buy a house too.

Law graduates are still working as a lowly apprentice in law firm, most management graduates have just failed on their first business plan, the arts graduate is still looking for a job, and the medical school graduate is still living in a hospital.

Unmatchable industriousness

An engineer boyfriend will dedicate an unimaginable amount of his time and effort to understand you. Engineers strain really really
hard to understand their work. You can believe that they will try really really hard to understand women too, just like how they understand their work, once they believe that you are the one. So even if they don't understand you initially, they will keep on trying. Even
if they still do not understand, they will figure out the correct method to keep you happy (e.g. buy diamond ring = 1 week's worth of
happiness.) And once they find out the secret formula, they will just keep on repeating it so that the desired results appear.

Unlike the Lawyer who will argue with you, the Management graduate who will try to control your spending, the Arts graduate who will 'change major', and the medical school graduate who will operate on you. And you know what,it's really so easy to make engineers believe that you are the 'one'.

Say that you like one of their projects and they will be hooked to you forever.-

Trust
An engineer boyfriend will never betray your trust. Let me first tell you what is wrong with the rest of the others - the lawyers will lie about everything, management graduates will cheat your money, the arts graduate will flirt, and you probably just look like another cadaver to the medical school graduate. Your engineer boyfriend is either too busy to have an affair, and even if he does, he is too dumb to lie to you about that.

Hence, an engineer is the most secure boyfriend that you will ever find - rich enough, will keep on trying to understand and please you, has no time for affairs, and too dumb to lie to u !!

To all drunkards... whomever it may concern

BASED ON YOUR SUNSIGNS YOUR EXPECTED BEHAVIOUR AFTER YOU GET DRUNK !!

ARIES: Drinking style Impulsive Aries people like to party and sometime sdon't know when to call it a night. Their competitive streak makes them prone to closing-time shot contests. They're sloppy, fun drunks, and they get mighty flirty after a couple tipples. Getting Aries people drunk I sa good way to get what you want out of them, should other methods fail. Aries can become bellicose when blotto, but they will assume that whatever happened should be forgiven (if not forgotten) by sunrise. They can be counted on to do the same for you -- so long as you haven't gone and done anything really horrible to them last night, you sneaky Gemini.

TAURUS: Drinking style Taurus prefers to drink at a leisurely pace, aiming for a mellow glow rather than a full-on zonk. Since a truly intoxicated Taurus is a one-person stampede, the kind of bull-in-a-china-shop inebriate who spills red wine on white carpets and tells fart jokes to employers, the preference for wining and dining (or Bud and buddies) to body shots and barfing is quite fortunate for the rest of us. This is not to say thatthe Bull is by any means a teetotaler -- god, no. A squiffy Taurus will get, er, gregarious (full of loud mouth soup, some would say) and is extremely amusing to drag to a karaoke bar when intoxicated.

GEMINI: Drinking style Gemini's can drink without changing their behavior much-- they're so naturally chatty and short-attention-spanned that it's just hard to tell sometimes. They can amaze you by conversing with finesse and allusion, then doing something to belie an extremely advanced state of intoxication, like puking in your shoe. Gemini's possess the magic ability to flirt successfully (and uninfuriatingly, which is very tricky) with several people at once. They like to order different cocktails every round -- repetition is boring -- and may create a theme (like yellow drinks: beer, sauvignon blanc and limoncello) for their own amusement.

CANCER: Drinking style Cancer is a comfort drinker -- and an extra wine with dinner or an after-work beer or six can be extra comforting, can't it, Cancer darling? Like fellow water signs Scorpio and Pisces, Crabs must guard against lushery. Cancers are brilliant at ferreting out secret parties and insinuating themselves on VIP lists -- and, in true Hollywood style, Cancers are never really drunk; instead, they get "tired and emotional" (read: weepy when lubricated). But there's nothing better than swapping stories (and spit) over a few bottles of inky red wine with your favorite Cancer. Even your second-favorite Cancer will do. The sign also rules the flavor vanilla, and you'd be adored if you served up a vanilla vodka and soda.

LEO: Drinking style Leo likes to drink and dance -- they're often fabulous dancers, and usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding dignity and turning kittenish. Of course, they're quite aware they're darling -Leos will be Leos, after all. They generally know their limit, probably because they loathe losing self-control. When they get over-refreshed, expect flirting to ensue -- and perhaps not with the one what rung them. But Leo's not the type to break rules even when drunk, so just try to ignore it (try harder, Cancer) and expects a sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it up to you the next day.

VIRGO: Drinking style Cerebral Virgos are compelled to impose order onto their bender. Their famously fussy quest for purity could lead to drinking less than other signs, sure --but it could also lead to drinking booze neat, to sucking down organic wine or just to brand loyalty. They rarely get fully shellacked -- but, oh, when they do! Virgo's controlled by the intellect, but there's an unbridled beast lurking within, and they let it loose when walloped. It's dead sexy (and surprisingly unsloppy). As one Virgo friend used to declare, "I'm going to drink myself into a low-level of intelligence tonight." A toast to the sub genius IQ!

LIBRA: Drinking style "I'm jusht a social drinker," slurs Libra, "it's jusht that I'm so damn social?" Libra loves nothing more than to party, mingle and relate to everyone. Whether dipped in favor of Good Libra (with Insta-Frienddevice set to "on") or heavier on the Evil Libra side (they are little instigators when bored), the Scales can really work a room. Charming as they are, Libras are notoriously lacking in self-control, however, which can get them into all sorts of trouble --including wearing their wobbly boots waaaay too early in the evening, flirting with every man/woman in the roomor even blacking out the night's events entirely. Oops!

SCORPIO: Drinking style Don't ever tell Scorpios they've had enough, for they'll smirk at you and quietly but intentionally keep tippling till they're hog-whimpering drunk, out of 100-proof spite. Scorpios like to drink, and screw you if you have a problem with that. Most of them seethe sauce as something to savor in itself, and not asa personality-altering tool -- though if depressed, self-loathing Scorps seek total obliteration. But generally, they're fascinating drinking pals, brilliant conversationalists and dizzying flirts. They also remember everything -- especially what you did when you were blitzed. Only drink with a Scorpio who likes you.

SAGITTARIUS : Drinking style In vino veritas -- and, for Sagittarius, in booze blurtiness: When buttered, they'll spill all your secrets and many of their own. Tactlessness aside, Sagittarius is just plain fun to drink with. This is a sign of serious partying (what else would you expect from the sign of Sinatra, Keith Richards, the Bush twins and Anna Nicole Smith?). They're the people who chat up everyone in the room, then persuade the entire crowd to travel somewhere else -- like a nightclub, or a playground, or Cancun. Good-natured hijinks are sure to ensue (including a high possibility of loopy groping; spontaneous Sag is a brilliant booty call).

CAPRICORN: Drinking style Capricorn is usually described as practical, steadfast, money-hungry and status-thirsty -- no wonder they get left off the astrological cocktail-party list. But this is the sign of David Bowie and Annie Lennox, not to mention Elvis. Capricorn is the true rock star: independent, powerful and seriously charismatic, not too eager to please. And if they make money being themselves, who're you to quibble? But just like most rock stars, they're either totally on or totally off, and they generally need a little social lubricant to loosen up and enjoy the after party, especially if they can hookup with a cute groupie.

AQUARIUS: Drinking style Aquarius and drinking don't go together that well(except for water, that is). They have an innate tendency toward know-it-allism, and if they get an idea while sizzled, they're more stubborn than a stain or a stone. If they're throwing a party or organizing an outing, however, they're too preoccupied with their duties to get combative -- and they make perfectly charming drunks in that case. Fortunately, they're usually capital drink-nursers. They also make the best designated drivers (if you can get them before they start raising their wrist):Aquarius is fascinated by drunk people and capable of holding interesting conversations with soused strangers while sober.

PISCES : Drinking style If you're a Pisces, you've probably already heard that you share a sign and an addictive personality --with Liz Taylor, Lisa Minnelli and Kurt Cobain. Not only do Pisces like to lose themselves in the dreamy, out-there feeling that only hooch can give, but they build up a mighty tolerance fast. Who needs an expensive date like that? On the other hand, they're fabulously enchanting partners, whether in conversation or in crime. With the right Pisces, you can start out sharing a pitcher of margaritas and windup in bed together for days. The phrase "addictive personality" can be read two ways, you know. ...

Math Humour

This page includes a few mathematically humourous jokes and sayings that any mathematician can appreciate! The jokes contain something essential about mathematics and the mathematical way of thinking.

Enjoy!

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Q: What did zero say to eight?
A: Nice belt!!

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Q: What do you call a mathematician's bird that won't eat?
A: A poly "no meal"

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Q: How does one insult a mathematician?
A: You say: "Your brain is smaller than any ε > 0"

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Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!

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Life is complex: it has both real and imaginary components.

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Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children?
A: 'If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times...'

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Theorem: Every positive integer is interesting.
Proof: By contradiction, assume that there exists an uninteresting positive integer. Then there must be a smallest uninteresting positive integer. But that's pretty interesting! Therefore a contradiction!

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Q: What is purple and commutative?
A: An abelian grape...

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Let epsilon be less than zero...

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In some alley, a function meets up with a differential operator:
"Get out of my way - or I'll differentiate you till you're zero!"
"Try it - I'm e^x..."
"Too bad... I'm d/dy."

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Source: http://wildaboutmath.com/