Engineer Boyfriend

Secure lifestyle

An engineer boyfriend can provide you with a secure lifestyle. At 27 years old, an engineer probably has a respectable, stable job
that gives him high income to own a car, invest, have a comfortable life, and get married and buy a house too.

Law graduates are still working as a lowly apprentice in law firm, most management graduates have just failed on their first business plan, the arts graduate is still looking for a job, and the medical school graduate is still living in a hospital.

Unmatchable industriousness

An engineer boyfriend will dedicate an unimaginable amount of his time and effort to understand you. Engineers strain really really
hard to understand their work. You can believe that they will try really really hard to understand women too, just like how they understand their work, once they believe that you are the one. So even if they don't understand you initially, they will keep on trying. Even
if they still do not understand, they will figure out the correct method to keep you happy (e.g. buy diamond ring = 1 week's worth of
happiness.) And once they find out the secret formula, they will just keep on repeating it so that the desired results appear.

Unlike the Lawyer who will argue with you, the Management graduate who will try to control your spending, the Arts graduate who will 'change major', and the medical school graduate who will operate on you. And you know what,it's really so easy to make engineers believe that you are the 'one'.

Say that you like one of their projects and they will be hooked to you forever.-

Trust
An engineer boyfriend will never betray your trust. Let me first tell you what is wrong with the rest of the others - the lawyers will lie about everything, management graduates will cheat your money, the arts graduate will flirt, and you probably just look like another cadaver to the medical school graduate. Your engineer boyfriend is either too busy to have an affair, and even if he does, he is too dumb to lie to you about that.

Hence, an engineer is the most secure boyfriend that you will ever find - rich enough, will keep on trying to understand and please you, has no time for affairs, and too dumb to lie to u !!

Alsasian keeps guard

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AT THE JOB INTERVIEW

One day a man tried to get a job at a great company. He passed every test with flying colours. At the final interview part, the CEO told him that his constant blinking would bother customers.
"I can fix that with some Aspirin. Just take some and I'll be better in a second"

So, he reaches into his pocket and pulls condom after condom out until he finds the Aspirin. He takes it and his blinking goes away.

The CEO says "We don't approve of womanizing!"

The guy says "Oh! No! Have you ever tried to ask a pharmacist for aspirin while your winking"

NEW SECRETARY

Two guys were discussing the new secretary at their office. John to George: "Man, I dated her last Tuesday and we had wonderful sex. She's a lot better in bed than my wife!"

Two days later. George to John: "Well, I dated her too and we had sex as well, but I still think your wife is better in bed!"

IN THE SERVICE

A man was being interviewed for a job. "Were you in the service?" ask the interviewer.

"Yes, I was a Marine," responded the applicant.

"Did you see any active duty?"

"I was in Vietnam for 2 years and I have a partial disability."

"May I ask what happened?"

"Well, I had a grenade go off between my legs and I lost both testicles."

"You're hired. You can start Monday at 10 am."

"When does everyone else start? I don't want any preferential treatment because of my disability."

"Everyone else starts at 7 am but I might as well be honest with you. Nothing gets done between 7 and 10. We just sit around scratching our balls trying to decide what to do first.

have u ever been so tired?

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR BOSS

When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.

When you take a stand, you're being pig-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.

When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

When you please your boss, you're arse-creeping.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss has a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.

Interview Rejects

Hello Friends,

We know that interview rejects are very common but on what basis the candidate gets rejected is important, mentioned below are some funny reasons which will definitely bring smile on your face............happy reading.


INTERVIEW REJECTS

Story I

E: Do u have a boyfriend?

C: I have.

E: Is he working Locally?

C: No. He is working Overseas.

E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u!

C: Why?

E: U will not be able to settle down here permanently. And my Company don't want to pay extra expenses on the Overseas calls just

because of u.


Story II

E: Any girl friends?

C: No.

E: So far chased any before?

C: Have, but not successful.

E: Ever think of getting a job first then start looking for a

girlfriend?

C: Career is first priority. Currently didn't want to consider This

personal issue.

E: Sorry, my company cannot employ u.

C: Why?

E: You are lacking of P.R skills and confidence!!

Story III

E: Any girlfriends?

C: Yes.

E: Is she pretty?

C: Yes.

E: Is she your first lover?

C: Yes.

E: Sorry, we can't employ you because you lack of fighting spirit.


Story IV

E: Any girlfriends?

C: Yes.

E: Is she your first lover?

C: No. Have a few already.

E: Sorry, my company cannot employ you because you are

a "grasshopper"!

(Job hoper lah!)

Story V

E: Any boyfriends?

C: Yes.

E: Is he rich ?

C: Yes, very rich.He owns a company.

E: Sorry, we cannot employ you because your boyfriend don't Even

want to employ you, neither do we!

C: But,...... there is no position in his company.

E: Then,..... what is your qualification?

C: Secretary!

E: Sorry, we still cannot employ you because your prettiness Will

affect our managers' working spirits.

C: But,...... I am not pretty at all.

E: It is even worse because my managers will not be interested In you!!

Can be seen in rare time

Worser and Worser

It's getting worser and worser and people are getting dumber and dumber.

How about those child-proof medicine bottles? What are you going to do about that second muscle relaxer pill?

Or those zippers on half-gallon ice cream containers? They never work!

Or why do you get that stuff on your hands when you open a can of tuna?

Or you visit your friend in a half-million dollar house and he tells you to jiggle that knob on the commode. Hundred and fifty year old technology-Can't they get it right.

Ever try to open an new CD? You'll need a hacksaw to take off the shrink wrap.

Or you go in a restaurant with you wife and the waiter says,"Two"---like the invisible man is with you.

And why do I have to dial 10 digits to call my neighbor on the telephone when four numbers used to do the trick?

Years ago, you had two gas pumps and two guys who would put the gas in your car, clean your windshield and check you tires. Now you have 21 pumps and you have to pump the gas yourself, go and stand in line inside the store until the guy with the stay eye says, "May I help, you"?

And they've changed a lot of the words: you don't have and operation-you have a procedure; you ain't got pain, you got discomfort. Even the finance company got in the game: They told me I was overextended; all I know's I'm broke!

And now you got to pay $2.00 more for a cup of coffee you can't pronounce!

And why does that clerk have to make 57 entries in the cash register when I buy a box of computer paper?

And now they got words I don't even understand. Like Proactive-I thought that was something you put on when you were on a wild date. Or Facilitator-who comes up with this stuff!

And warning lables-before you know it, they'll have warning lable on toothpicks!

I'm tell you, it's getting worser and worser!

Cool Doggies

Baby having sound sleep

Little johnny

Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.
Little Johnny found this so interesting that he could not contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother.
Mummy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane........"
At this point Mummy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for suppertime. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."!
At the dinner table, Mummy asked little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny started his story, "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mummy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army."
Moral for women: Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt!

Things i hate...

9 Things i hate about Everyone.

1.People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal,where the hell is yours? Do i point at my crotch ,when i ask where the toilet is?
2.People who are willing to get off their censored to search the entire room for the T.V remote becoz they refuse to walk to the T.V and change the channel manually.
3.When people say"oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".Damm right? what the good is cake if you cant't eat it.
4.When people say"its always the last place you look".Of course it is.why the hell would you look keeping after you have found it? Do people do this?who and where are they?Gonna kick their asses!
5.Why people say while watching the film"did you see that"?No looser i paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damm floor.
6.People who ask "can i ask you a question".... don't really give me a choice there,did ya sunshine?
7.when something is 'new and improved!' which is it? If its new,then there has never been anything before it. And it it's improvement,then there must have been something before it,could't be new.
8.When people say "life is short".what the hell?? life is the longest damm things anyone ever does!! what can you do that's longer?
9.When you are waiting for bus and someone ask "Has the bus come yet?".If the bus came would i been standing here,dumbass?